I Couldn't Sit Up at the Keyboard...

I may have over-done it yesterday.

It's hard to stay still for so long. I want to be doing some things without the constant pain and lack of strength in my back.

I got a back injury two months ago....ages and ages. I was going to the bank for an elderly lady I look after, when I saw arms and legs flailing in the air.

I may seem slow, but it only took me five seconds to realise that this is not normal.

I took off towards the arms and legs. It was an old heavy man, who had fallen in front of the bank. His cheek was oozing blood, and he was shaking and moaning.

Contrary to all good Manual Handling Laws, I helped pick the guy up....(I know, I know....)

Resulting in two loooong months of pain and hobbling. I think I did worse than the Old Dude did in the long run.
But I have been getting slowly better...until...cough*....yesterday....

So I may have gotten a little over-ambitious and done a few too many things. Meaning when I woke up this morning, my first realisation is, "Uh oh....Ow...ow...oww...."

Don't try to run from your head. Sooner or later, you're gonna land flat on your back (maybe literally), and then everything you've been trying to avoid will swamp you like the tide.

I get up and limp to have a shower, and try to convince my body that it actually doesn't hurt that much. I CAN still function. I CAN play the music at church this morning, like I was rostered on to do. I only get rostered on once a month, I CAN DO THIS!

My parents are not overly sympathetic, as I limp past their room. Nor should they be...I have been getting impatient at being unable to do much, and have been pushing the boundaries....when I should be doing very little (groan).

When I got to church, however, and slump over at the keyboard, people realised that I may not be up to the task....and send me home. Honestly, I couldn't sit upright.

"Heyyy." I whined to my little sister, who was doing the church singing, "Could you hold onto my lower lumbar during the service....that's it...a little lower....thank you...now hold it there...."

However, she was doing herself an injury trying to hold in my collapsing ligaments, so I tried to support myself by leaning forward toward the keys, elbows on the sides of the instrument. They slid off...

"MEAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH"

Being the sound of an adult's body weight hitting the Upper Notes of a Church Keyboard.

"Hey man, " the Bass Player said, "I don't wanna kick you outta the band or nothin', but I think maybe you should let your sister play the keys....we'll give you this week off..."

So I limped from the church, and gingerly drove home, and collapsed into bed.

Now I'm lying here, wondering what on earth God has in mind. I keep thinking God must have some issues he wants me to sort through, perhaps self worth? Or some other jolly topic.

It's easy to escape having to deal with stuff most of the time (God bless the nine seasons of Scrubs)...but maybe this stupid back pain will linger on until I DO deal with it.

So if anyone has any ideas about how to sort out Self Worth in 3 easy steps...or how to lie still without needing constant distraction? Or free tranquillizers?

much appreciated.